I’ve had this urge to re-introduce myself on this blog. Partly because I’m hoping to truly re-start writing again on a regular basis, and partly because I don’t think I ever really have introduced myself on this blog. So here goes.
me, right now
My name is Alison. It is December 24, 2009, and I am 24 years old. I am 5′3″ tall, about 110 lbs, and have light brown hair and blue eyes. I like how I look, while trying not to get too hung up about it one way or the other. My appearance is something I’ve become infinitely more comfortable with as I’ve left my teenage years behind me.
I have three brothers: one older, two younger. I have a mother and a father, and they are still together after 26 years of marriage. Having never experienced divorced or separated parents is something I have always been extremely grateful for. My older brother is a “half” brother, my dad’s son from his first marriage. Sometimes I think about what entirely different experiences he and I have grown up with, and it always makes me feel sad some how. I’ve always wanted him to be a bigger part of my life, a sibling in the same way my other brothers and I are siblings. I still hope that that will happen someday.
I turn 25 in three months. Sometimes, I think about that number, 25, and I can’t believe I have been on the earth that long already. Other times, I can’t believe it’s only been 25 years. But most of the time, I think about it and feel pretty good about having another year to look forward to. I can truly say that I have actually liked every age I’ve been better than the one before it, so at this point birthdays haven’t started bothering me yet. I strongly suspect that at some point, it won’t be as easy to keep up this positive, happy-aging attitude, so right now I just try to enjoy it while I can.
But that being said, I hope never to be too dismayed about getting older. Right now, I feel happy about being 24 because I’m so happy about my life at 24. I have everything I could hope to have at this stage in my life: I’m married to the person I love, I’ve done some traveling, I’ve graduated college, I’ve lived in different places and done some different things, and at 24, I think I’ve learned a lot about what I want to do and how I want to live, and I am on the way to doing and going and seeing and being so much more!
I got married when I was 21. I am well aware that virtually everyone in my life thought I was too young and had some misgivings about the whole situation, whether they said anything to me or not, but to this day it has remained the best decision I have ever made. I LOVE being married. And I LOVE how Joel and I have defined marriage for ourselves. Instead of it being the beginning of a conventional, settled adulthood, it has been the springboard for everything we had ever talked about doing. So many things feel possible together that I don’t think I’d even want to do if we were apart. The past three years have been the best in my life.
Not to say that other years don’t rival the past three. I’ve had a lot of good years. Off the top of my head, I can only distinctly remember two that weren’t so great. Maybe two and a half if you got into counting months.
If my life was a series of novels, the past couple years would definitely have been my coming-of-age story. I feel like I have come to my own somehow, that I somehow know myself better than I have before. Maybe I’ve just become more comfortable being honest with myself, or maybe I’ve realized that the things that define you aren’t so much the concrete and the black-and-white, but all the gray, abstract inconsistencies in between.
I was going to try to write this and not sound like an excerpt from some unoriginal and overly reflective self-help/personal inspiration book, but oh well.
I have wanted to be a writer since I was about seven years old. I still consider that to be my ideal scenario, the answer to the “what do you want to be when you grow up?” question. For someone who wants to be a writer, I don’t write very much. I don’t know why. I think about it every day, but clearly, that doesn’t accomplish a whole lot.
Instead, right now I am a preschool teacher. I often wonder why I decided to get into early childhood education when what I wanted to do was write. At the time, I thought it made sense to pursue a good “day job.” Sometimes, I think that was a pretty ridiculous use of time, energy and tuition when what I wanted to do was write, but other times I’ve been pretty thankful for my education and the opportunities that go with it. A lot of the time I wonder why I thought preschool teaching would in any way be compatible with writing. Being a preschool teacher is mentally and physically exhausting, so at the end of the day all I have the energy to do is think about writing, which hasn’t got me very far. Yet.
I like being a preschool teacher, though. I was about to rhyme off all the things I liked about it, and then I couldn’t think of a way to say it that conveys how I actually feel about it. Sure, it’s all those predictable and superficial things: fun, fast-paced, interesting, etc. etc. but I think what I like most about it is how much I learn about people, about humanity in general. And I find it amazing how intrinsically intwined my life becomes with the lives of the children in my class. I love how connected you become, with the children, with the families and with the people you work with.
Still. I’d like to be a writer.
I’m glad I went to college, and in the end, I am glad I studied Early Childhood Education, mostly because I’m still not sure what else I would’ve taken that I would’ve enjoyed as much or that would’ve been as useful. I suppose I was drawn to the whole thing because the issue of education has always been of huge interest to me.
I think that has everything to do with the fact that I didn’t really go to school. At least, I didn’t go for very long. I was home schooled from grade 3 until grade 11. Then I went back to public school for my final (and only) year of high school. Having had experience with both formal and informal education I feel gives me a really unique perspective on what it means to be educated and to learn. I could go on about this topic for a long time, but I’ll save most of it for another time.
What I will say, though, is I really enjoyed growing up outside structured education. It’s something that I’ve come to appreciate a lot over time. Being home schooled had some extreme pros and cons, and there’s been times in my life when I wondered if the benefits outweighed the disadvantages. Sometimes, especially as a teenager, I would get SO TIRED of explaining myself and my experiences to people, of feeling like I somehow needed to prove myself to everyone to show that despite being home schooled, I was an intelligent, educated and fully functioning human being with the ability to communicate with and relate to other people. I now feel like I’m easily all those things because I was home schooled, and that growing up in an unconventional way has given me a perspective and foundation that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
I am a Christian, but in the interest of being perfectly candid and honest, I really dislike using that word and usually try my best to avoid saying anything about it. I almost didn’t say anything about it here, but I want to be complete, and this is a big part of who I am right now. My discomfort with this topic has been a huge source of reflection and thought for me, and it feels too personal or intrinsically linked to the very foundation of myself to bring up in regular discussion. I’m not questioning my faith; in fact, I’ve never felt more certain and grounded. I just feel uncomfortable with the word “Christian” because of how closely aligned it is with other issues and stands, and I never want it to be assumed how I feel about anyone or anything that is happening in our world right now. Again, I could talk about this forever, but I think this, too, deserves it’s own time and space.
I am an uncomfortable Christian. That is my official faith statement.
I am also a vegetarian. I originally gave up meat in an effort to reduce my environmental footprint, but now there are so many reasons why I keep it up. It makes me a lot more aware of what I eat, the ingredients in my food and where that food has come from. It has made eating feel more conscientious and intentional. It has made it more appealing to cook for myself and try new recipes. It feels like a healthier, gentler way to live.
I love the idea of striving to be the best possible version of myself. I love eating well, of making things from scratch, of eating pure and wholesome foods. I love how it feels to be active and be in great physical condition, of being capable of training and conditioning myself to do anything. I love feeling rested and relaxed. I love feeling like I am doing everything I can to meet my potential as a human being.
I love reading great books and watching great movies.
I love laughing out loud.
I love being creative for creativity’s sake, and not being too concerned with the outcome or technique.
I love wearing something I made myself.
I love it when someone surprises me by how well they know me, not in a superficial kind of way but in a deeper, more personal way.
I love getting mail.
My favourite food right now is sushi.
My favourite colours right now are green and orange. Weird, because those were never my favourite colours before.
I have a dog, Penny. I didn’t want a dog, but then Joel took me to see a litter of black lab/rottweiler puppies, and Penny ended up coming home with us that day. That was almost three years ago, and now I can’t imagine my life without her.
I like the idea of owning as little as possible.
I miss my family more now living four hours away than I did living five days away on the other side of the country.
I love camping. I love roadtripping. I love how every time I travel somewhere new I feel like I fall in love with the world all over again.
I like playing board games with friends.
I like conversations that last until the sun comes up the next day.
I like that I live in a time and a place that offers a lot possibilities and opportunities.
I feel like I have a lot to look forward to.
My name is Alison. It is December 24, 2009, and I am 24 years old.
Who are you?
